Yoga is Powerful

For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling pent up with anger, stress, and a constant nagging chronic pain in my shoulder that just won't leave me alone. I'd dealing with a lot of tension coming from work, struggling to find my passion there and a scheduled that was demanding more time from me than I could give and it was slowly starting to chisel away at my spirit. I was being broken down and all that was left was anger and resentment.  I found myself constantly complaining about things and then turning around doing the same things I was complaining about. I was often asking myself 'What are you doing?' 'What is wrong with you?' I struggled with these questions for what seemed like weeks. I couldn't get a handle on anything. I was slowly falling a part.

I often have conversations with myself, back and forth, like talking with a therapist but the conversation is just between me and myself.  I will break everything down. I will ask myself questions, building one onto the next to find the problem so I can find the solution(s). Yes this may make me sound crazy but it works. Sometimes I come to a conclusion, sometimes I am left wondering with more questions that I don't know the answers to. This time I came to a conclusion. I figured out what I needed to do. I apologized to those that I had been projecting my negative feelings onto and set about making a list of things to do to turn myself around.

During time I also realized I couldn't remember the last time I gave myself time for a personal practice. I spend hours upon hours, weekly, at my job promoting yoga, speaking it's benefits and teaching it but I had been neglecting taking time for myself to indulge in my own personal practice. It was effecting me greatly. And one day I knew it. It slowly crept up on me like a young sibling whispering in my ear... 'pssst hey don't forget about me' it said. I knew then that I needed to put in some mat time; not in a studio, not surrounded by other people, but in my sacred yoga room space in my apartment where I could be left alone with my thoughts. Where the only other noise I heard was the music I chose to play. This was a practice I knew that would bring up a lot of pent up emotions. I needed to be alone to release those emotions into the Universe. Mostly I needed to forgive myself for how crappy I was being lately.

And that is just what I did. I prepped my yoga room, lights down low with some soft mood lighting, incense burning, soft music playing (Born to be Wild playlist on Spotify), window open to let in the cool Autumn air, mat laid out, crystals placed on my mat and journal at the ready. I left the room and closed the door behind me. I needed to get in the right mindset and at the moment I was still too high strung...

When I went back to the room half an hour later ready to practice the room felt very inviting. I sat down on my mat and began to journal things that had recently come up, things I recently realized I had been doing. I asked for forgiveness from the Universe. I wrote and wrote. Expressing everything. Filling my journal's pages with all of my pent up anger and frustration. Eventually realizing that I am not the only one dealing with all of life's curve balls. And that I have not been myself lately. I found the root causes of my issues. And promised myself that I would take care of them one by one.... Then came the yoga practice. A Wind Down practice with Adriene from Yoga with Adriene. I began in child's pose where I took time to listen closely to the music and allowed myself to cry a little. Yes crying often happens in yoga, especially when a lot of emotions are involved. And yes I often find myself crying during tense situations. For me it is okay to cry. And for me I had come to a realization that I was ashamed of myself for how I had been acting. During my practice I began to release some of the pressure that I have been putting on myself into the Universe. A weight had been lifted. My heart felt lighter, my head felt clearer. I was feeling lighter all over and a warm peaceful feeling was washing over me.

The great thing about Yoga is that no matter what you are going through, no matter how crappy you've been feeling or acting Yoga will always be there for you. To support you, to help you, to guide you through all of life's paths whether they be bumpy or smooth sailing. Yoga is always there for you. It doesn't care who you've wronged, the mistakes you've made or the decisions you've gone with. As long as you show up it will be there to support you in anyway you need it.

Yoga is not a one size fits all kind of practice. There is a Yoga style for everyone, literally. Look it up. I dare you. Type in keywords you are looking for in a yoga style and I bet you there is a type.

If you have been suffering with life like me my suggestion to you is to put in some mat time. You do not have to go to a studio to do yoga. Another good thing about yoga is that it can be done literally anywhere. I do it in the shower, at my desk, in my car, on my bed, even the middle of a open field. If you choose to do it at home Yoga with Adriene on YouTube has some lovely peaceful, calming yoga videos that are very beneficial and are not all that long.

Life is about Balance, taking the good with the bad and turning the bad into good.
Live your life, don't let your circumstances control you. Fix them.
Take action. Take responsibility. Make it better.
Be better.
Live well.
Namaste.

Xo
Kelly